Coffee Regular

For one to know the superiority of New Englanders look no farther than your nearest Dunkin Donuts, errrr.... coffee shop. Today I ordered a "coffee regular" as I've done thousands of times back home. Noticing the blank stare I got from the clerk I clarified "cream and sugar". This is not the first time this has happened to me outside of New England, the most common occurance is to be handed a coffee black. Now, if I wanted a black coffee, wouldn't I just order "coffee"? No additions no fancy crap, just "coffee".

Like most, however, I like cream and sugar. If most of us get it that way, "regular" seems like a perfect qualifier to add. It's quick to say, and makes sense. But somehow this streamlining has gone unnoticed outside of New England. And that, my friends, is why we run this country. Us nor-than-us are wicked smaaart.